How To Focus with ADHD

When you have ADHD,  you know it can become overwhelming by all of the distractions that are a part of life. 

You are constantly distracted by everything from scrolling social media to checking emails to managing the household and working a  job! Just trying to focus on any one thing can feel like a never-ending battle that seems literally impossible when your ADHD has a mind of its own. 

When life becomes overwhelming and you just can’t seem to focus you may find yourself doing everything but what needs your utmost attention. 

For many of us, social media can become a major distraction, especially when we work from home online. 

Tuning into your favorite television show can also keep you from your priorities because you just can’t get beyond the idea of doing anything that is dull and boring. 

Or how about when you’ve got a mile-long to-do list that you have yet to check off because as soon as you’ve started one task, you see another and start it before you’ve completed the first one, and so on. 

Having ADHD and finding yourself constantly distracted is a common occurrence that often happens when you just don’t feel like focusing on what’s important because it’s tedious and boring.  Or maybe it’s because you fear anything new and different. 

Whatever your reason for being distracted, you already know that focusing is the only way to get things done, but where do you start? 

You start with knowing what you really want in life and in order to do that you’ll want to turn it into a goal. 

Creating goals that are simple enough to focus on will allow you to spend some time every day on what really matters to you the most.  

When you schedule goals that are important to you, it allows you to avoid the distractions that keep you from focusing on what you really want in life. Anything that doesn’t fit or allow you to move closer to your goals, shouldn’t be scheduled.  

Decide how much time you want to set towards each of your goals and stick with it. When the time is up for that goal, move on to the next one. One of the biggest reasons your goals like that to-do list doesn’t get done is because your ADHD says, “No more, this is too much, I’m done!” The result isn’t anywhere near positive and you tell yourself you’ll do it another day, but it never gets done. 

If you struggle with a negative mindset, change your thoughts.  Instead of thinking about how hard it is to manage your ADHD symptoms or how you wish you weren’t so distracted, turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. Your brain is programmed to respond to the messages you send it. If you’re telling your brain about a negative feeling, it will believe it. If you respond with positive thoughts, your brain will believe that too. 

If the distractions are still keeping you from focusing on your goals, remove them. Focus on your goals where the television isn’t present, log out of, or temporarily block your email and social media accounts. Anything that’s a distraction, find a solution that works for you and don’t allow yourself to make excuses as to why you can’t. 

The more you are able to train your brain to focus rather than just giving in to your ADHD symptoms, the more productive you’ll become and the more you will find yourself enjoying the life you have always dreamed of. 

A Proud Partner and Sponsor of the Coffeyville Brick Restoration Sidewalk Project. For More Information Please Contact: Keith Caulkins

What Does a Narcissist Really Want

Chances are you probably already know that a narcissist can be charming and focused on you at first, but sooner or later, the person you thought they were, turns bitter and demanding. And if you’ve found yourself in a relationship with a narcissist then those changes probably have you confused and wondering what happened. 

Unfortunately, the word narcissist also gets more recognition that doesn’t always relate to some people.  When we talk about being a narcissist, we are referring to someone who often has a grandiose sense of self-importance with the belief that they are special and are entitled to everything that they should have and will let no one stop them from their goal. Narcissists will also have an excessive need for admiration and rarely feel sympathy for others. 

So what exactly does a narcissist want?

• Narcissists want to be able to feed their need for their ego no matter what it takes to get them stoked. The person who is often the victim of their need must give them the admiration they desire by showering them with compliments and making them feel important whether it’s about how perfectly they do their job or how good they look, it’s an absolute must for a narcissist. Anything that isn’t about them or their interests, they won’t want to hear about it. 
• Narcissists also want a relationship that makes them look good. They want someone who will provide the resources they want to live the life they desire without argument and they will use you to get what they want because love doesn’t exist in their world. 
• They will also want to be in control of every part of your life because they need to know that their needs and wants are going to continue to be met. 
• Their ultimate goal is to hook you with promises that they never intend to keep, but will allow them to fulfill their desires and keep you under control until they have no more use for you. 
• When a narcissist no longer feels like they are in control it can be dangerous for their victim because chances are you have already caught onto their lies and stood up to them. Once they have been confronted, narcissists will react by playing the victim and turn anyone who will listen against you. 
• And if you do happen to leave a narcissist or they decide to look for another victim, don’t believe for a minute that they’re through with you completely. A narcissist has a need and if they think that you can still fulfill that need for them, they’ll try to get back into your life. They will tell you that they’re sorry, they made a mistake, and want to change. Don’t believe a word of it. Narcissists don’t change and only care about themselves. And a narcissist who is already aware of your concerns about them will make certain your actions don’t go unnoticed or unpunished once you let them back into your life. 
• Narcissists will always have a backup plan whether it’s you or a new victim because they don’t want to be alone. If a narcissist is alone they won’t be able to get the recognition they believe they deserve and their needs met with ease. 
• But those needs don’t just stop with you.  A narcissist will always use anyone that they believe can give them what they need by attempting to gain their sympathy.  
• Narcissists feed on sympathy by telling their victims their life story and playing the victim themselves. Once they’ve convinced someone that they are the victim they know it will be easier to get them on their side and give in to their needs. 

A victim of a narcissist can be anyone as long as they can be used to fulfill their needs. They may pretend to be your friend or be interested in being in a relationship with you, but they really only want to use you. The only goal a narcissist has is to get your attention so that they can get what they want from you and nothing more. 

And if you’re holding onto hope that a narcissist will change, they won’t. Narcissists are dead set on being admired by the world and nothing will stop them from that. So if you have the opportunity walk away from that relationship. No real good will come from forming a relationship with a narcissist.  

How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success

The Fight Within Her

Are you self-sabotaging your success as an entrepreneur? When it comes to sabotaging, we often hold ourselves back without even realizing we have.

Even I’m no stranger to destroying my dreams and goals unconsciously by holding myself back. It is and remains to be one of the most talked-about topics on my podcast, The Fight Within Her.

Yet as we all know, success is never an easy road to take. It involves a lot of hard work to become successful and live the life many of us have only ever dreamed about.

One of the biggest reasons we fail as a successful entrepreneur is by:

“Believing that we are entitled to everything in life.”

I know this may not seem like a reason to fail, but let me explain. While there is nothing wrong with motivating yourself towards a better future and your goals, if you are just sitting around waiting for a business opportunity to fall in your lap, you are doing it all wrong.

Hard work is the key to success and a must if you want to reach your goals! If you don’t put in the work, you will never advance with your online business or see a huge profit, and isn’t that the goal?

Another reason we tend to self-sabotage our success is by:

“Blaming others for our failure.”

Blaming others for my mistakes was one of my past downfalls. When something didn’t go right, if I failed to achieve a goal I had set for myself, etc., I blamed others. I never stopped to think that I should have just found a way to get past my negligence, even if it meant getting out of bed earlier in the mornings, instead of blaming others for not having enough time in my day.

When we are faced with a difficult situation we tend to point fingers and make excuses by putting the blame on someone else for our problems and then simply give up!

Instead of Blaming Others:

Stop wasting your precious time by making excuses.

Start bulldozing your way to success by finding a way to get it done!

You are only setting yourself up for the inability to achieve success as an entrepreneur if you point fingers.

Besides, you are getting in your own way if you continue to blame others for your lack of success.

Right now, right this very moment is the time to own up to your mistake, put your big girl or boy pants on, and take that step in the right direction toward your goals!

Get out of your way and stop self-sabotaging your success as an entrepreneur by:

“We make excuses.”

You got me! This was another habit I had and still find myself making at times. I would make an excuse as to why I wasn’t seeing the success I wanted as an entrepreneur.  I would tell myself, I can’t do this because (insert excuse here).

Let’s face it, life isn’t easy. No one has a perfect life no matter how they make it seem. We make excuses when life gets difficult! But, excuses hold us back and never get us anywhere in life.

Stop making excuses! Stop the self-sabotage, carry on and just do it! If you want to crush your goals and live your dream life, get out of your way! Otherwise, you need to ask yourself, why exactly are you here?

Overcoming Fear

My Fear of showing the real me!

I’m going to be completely honest with you. There is a problem. It’s you. You’re holding yourself back. It doesn’t matter how many excuses you make. Your kids, partner, parents, in-laws, your living conditions, finances, your job or health. There will always be a reason, some sort of excuse. Trust me I’ve heard them all because at one time, I lived that life. I made every excuse I could think of because I was terrified of living my life. I was afraid I wouldn’t succeed, that others would try to stop me.

Over the years I have learned that it doesn’t matter how scared you are. None of it matters. The only thing that does is that you live life to the fullest. You’ve only got one life in this world. Use it wisely because life is too precious to live in FEAR.

Those dreams, those goals? You will never achieve them if you continue to make excuses and refuse to push past those roadblocks that have you terrorized of living life. One of my all-time favorite motivational quotes comes from the 2017 movie, “Elliot the Littlest Reindeer.”

~ If it is important you will find a way, if not you will find an excuse!

So you see, we truly are our own worst enemy. No matter how smart, how talented, or how driven you are, those little words of encouragement you hear from others, won’t help, if you allow FEAR to control your life. If you don’t find the courage to reach your goals.

We all dread something. Perhaps it is the idea of:

• Being alone
• Heights
• Flying
• Spiders, Snakes, and other Creatures
• Attracting a disease or virus like Covid19
• Area 51 and other conspiracy theories

For some it is the negativity that Calls to you. You often FEAR:

• You are never good enough
• Your goals aren’t attainable because you were conditioned to believe that achieving success should be easy.
• You believe failure makes you look bad

Most of all…. You fear the unknown. 

You are not alone!  I told myself so many lies, made every excuse I could think of, until I realized that I no longer recognized the truth. The unknown was terrifying to me. I would have a full-blown anxiety attack if I didn’t know what was going to happen next.

Every one of us have a phobia! You can keep playing that blame game, keep making those excuses, but the truth is…..

You are in control of your life! 

Others can and will always try to tell you what to do. It’s in their nature, their blood. They’ll attempt to tell you what to say and even how to live your life. But why would you allow it? You’re a grown woman! You are in charge, not them! You are the only one who must push past your doubts, your fears and take back the life that you have allowed someone else to live for you. No matter how terrifying it is, no matter how afraid you are, take back your life!

Even if you must do it in baby steps, do it. If it is one thing that I have learned, even the smallest step can lead to greatness. Every step is one goal closer to your dream as long as you are willing to take that journey!

It’s time to defeat those FEARS. Stop letting them control you! Take back your life, dream big and become the woman, the goddess you were meant to be. It’s time you lived!

Note: This post contains an affiliate link. You are under no obligation to click on the link, but if you choose to do so it does allow me to be paid. Thank you.